Gasp! Oh no! He didn’t! How could he?
Why would he do such a thing?
Our mouths hung open as we drove by the massacre.
This scene of mutilation warranted yellow “CRIME SCENE” tape surrounding it.
How old were they? Ten maybe 15 years? All brought down in their prime.
It was a sad, sad day in the hood.
We shook our heads and silently remembered their blooming glory, and the joy they brought to everyone.
THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT CREPE MURDER!
My husband often uses the classic catch phrase with my kids: “Well if your friend jumped off a bridge would you?”
And they predictably answer, “Of course not dad!”
Yet many southerners seem to follow in a robotic annual repetition of “jumping off bridges just because their friends did”.
For some crazy reason every March – April, people emerge from their homes and start the spring yard work and commit a huge gardening sin:
CREPE MURDER!
Crepe murder can be defined as topping off a crepe myrtle tree or removing all large branches or severely cutting it back to the trunk. When asked why people do this, many have absolutely no clue. They’ve just always seen their neighbors do it, so they figured it’s what you are supposed to do.
In the words of my dear Phoebe, “It’s madness! Madness I tell you!”
I BEG YOU!!!
DON”T DO IT!!!!
Let’s take a look at a few (ahem…) crime scenes.
Will someone pass me a tissue please?….
I just can’t take it! The horror!
Oh my… yes, truly, please bow your heads in a moment of reverent silence…..
Crepe myrtles do need pruning but not topping. I recommend this great tutorial by the Grumpy Gardener on How to Prune Crepe Myrtles.
We love our crepe myrtles here in the south. They provide months of gorgeous, colorful blooms (June-Sept.).
Crepe Myrtles come in so many varieties and sizes for every planting situation. So be a responsible gardener and research what you are buying BEFORE you buy it. Understand how quickly it will grow and how large it will get.
Then leave it be! Let it live and prosper!
If you are guilty of crepe murder, know that I hold no ill will towards you as long as you promise to repent of your misguided cropping-sin and promise to prune responsibly.
Together we can end the violence and crimes against crepe myrtles.
🙂
hee,hee,hee
KIM
We moved from Michigan to Florida about 5 years ago. Since we’re from “up north” where there are no Crepe Myrtles, we didn’t understand why people were chopping off the trees and leaving sticks in the ground. When I asked, the only vague responses I got was something to the effect of “it’s landscaping”. What? It made no sense. Why, when you live in a climate that sustains all kinds of beautiful foliage all year round, would you cut the tops off of the trees and just leave the trunks?
Since then I’ve learned that the branches, leaves and flowers grow back. Still, it seems a bit odd to me. Thank you for letting me know that I’m not the only one who thinks it’s not a normal type of practice.
No, you aren’t alone Anne… My dad used to do this and I was always like “WHAT??” What kind of plant requires this??!?!?!?” Ummm, yah, he was as guilty as could be. I forgive him. (He was from Detroit!) 😉
LOL! I love this post. So when I get back down to the “real” south, I vow to not murder my crepe myrtles!
Oh yes Heather… I will be the gardening-police at your door if you do! 😉
omg you are cracking me up!
When I saw the title of your post, my first thought was “She’s quoting Steve Bender!” Then I scrolled down and saw that you linked to an article of his. I’ve always loved that “crepe murder” expression–it’s right on! Good for you for spreading the word.
On the other hand, I DID severely cut back my hydrangea bushes this year. I don’t do it every year, but last year they seemed to need a dramatic pruning–and they’re looking very healthy this spring! Sure hope they bloom well!
haha, Thanks Richella! I can’t necessarily testify to the hacking of hydrangeas because all of mine are the “ever-blooming” variety which needs no pruning. Girl, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, just don’t hack the heck out of the crepe myrtles is all I ask. (wink). Love you!
You were cracking me up, as well ! Crepe Myrtles are safe at our house, because we don’t have any ! However, Big on Hydrangeas ! And I don’t murder them, but occasionally assault & battery is a Necessity ,lol
Haha!!!!!!!! No judgement here girlfriend!
When we moved to our home I had no idea what a crepe myrtle was or that it could be trained and pruned into a beautiful “tree”. So I promptly destroyed the ugly, huge “monsters” that were hiding my house. Sorrrry. :/ Don’t hate me please.
I too cannot stand it when my neighbors commit crepe murder. What really gets me though is that supposedly professional landscapers do it all around town at shopping centers, malls etc.
AMEN!!!
You can tell I’m a northerner by the fact that I thought you were talking about the FOOD Crepes! I was very confused with the headline and first picture! LOL
I am from Mississippi. What is crepes?
Like Jenny, I also thought you were talking about crepes – the food! I’m an ISA arborist and although I live in the north as in… northern Alberta, Canada where it snowed on saturday and sunday . There are quite a few people who practice that up here (not on Myrtle – if only that grew up here!) and I feel the same way! Thanks for posting this, I’ll have to forward it on to some of the ‘hort nerds’ from college who will enjoy it too.
Very funny! I miss our crepe myrtles we had in Atlanta. No such lovelies in Ohio. Thanks for letting me reminisce.
I’ve seen a couple of yards in my neighborhood with trees missing their tops. I had no idea they are Crepe Myrtles! We have several in our yard and not one has been be-headed. And I promise they never will! 😉
Oh Kim, this is one of my biggest my pet peeves!! When we moved to coastal NC in December 2004 from NY, I marveled driving around in the midst of winter how pretty the landscapes were. Live oaks, lovely shrubs, trees sporting leaves, even close to Christmas. Then come February we noticed all these strange stick trees, with ugly knotty knobs/ knuckles proliferating in rows of bareness at all the shopping malls & then in front yards of otherwise lovely landscaped homes! I said to my hubby what the heck are these things? I never noticed them before?? Whatever they are why would they be pruned this way? Ugly isn’t strong enough to describe! I was clueless about Crepe Myrtles & did not know about the horrific NC February ritual which grabs hold of obsessed murderous wannabe lumberjacks across the south! I found out what they were, did some research & discovered the black art of Crepe Murder. How could they? Why would they? I vowed to never murder a tree like that!
Then come March my next door neighbor walked my property with me to help this former Yankee learn the names of all the unknown flora & fauna plants in our yard. I learned that the lovely shaped tree by our front path was a Crepe Myrtle & thankfully it was never pruned! Years later it still wears it original coat, no knuckles, no ugly knots. No straight up growing shoots. It’s a beautiful fountain like tree as God designed it! Oh how I would like to personally “murder” every dumb landscaper that ruins the flow of this tree and scourges the area with ugliness! Because of “group think” there are just handfuls in our neighborhood who display a non-butchered tree!
As we were driving around yesterday shopping, noticing the lovely spring flora in bloom, again my eyes were assaulted with rows of these “stickly” looking things! Again my yearly ritual of getting all riled was in gear, as I whined to my husband “What makes people think that lobbing off a tree in February and looking at it for the next 3-4 months in that ugly condition is a smart thing to do!” GRRRRR!! “Even after the blooms come out, the branches & trunk are still looking like an old withered monster with sporting pretty flowers!!! How could they, how could they!! It ought to be a crime!!!”
So I am with you Kim! I say “off with their heads” to those who would do the dastardly deed of taking up a power tool to dismantle one of Gods prettiest creations!!!
I can’t stand it when I see people doing this. Some guy in our neighborhood cuts his huge tree down to 2′ from the ground. Seriously? Who thinks that looks good?!
OH yes, lots of crepe murdering goes on here! See it all the time. lol
No worries, I won’t be doing it…I can hardly keep my boxwoods trimmed from year to year. 😉
Nancy
Oh thank you thank you thank you! We don’t have many crepe myrtles here, but I’m from the south and I know exactly what you mean. Bad pruning in general is a pet peeve of mine. I can’t stand it when people prune everything like a boxwood. All the lovely architectural shrubs, like forsythia, burberry, redtwig dogwoods, etc. all round and boring when they should be flowing and interesting. ARGH!!!!!
It is late. I am hungry. I am from the Midwest. And I thought this had something to do with one of my favorite types of food. Hmmmm. The trees are pretty too.
Thank you! The crepe myrtle has long been a favorite plant of mine and I want to cry every time I see one butchered in such a manner.
Since moving into this new-to-us house, we’ve been planning our landscaping. (This is a villa community and all the postage-stamp-sized lawns and landscaping are maintained by the HOA and their contracted landscaper.) When I told the landscaper I wanted to replace an ailing holly with a crepe, I told him that his crew was not to touch it during tree-trimming time unless I was standing right there with them. He threw his hands up and swore they do not commit crepe murder. Well, I don’t have my new crepe yet, but last week I looked around my small neighborhood and every.single.crepe.myrtle has been butchered. I’m not sure I want to plant one now. In fact, I think I want to move again. 😀
Steve Bender is my personal hero, by the way. 🙂
That is so, so sad!! We had a gorgeous CM at our last Cali home. Ones of the things I miss most. They have some of the prettiest blooms. I don’t know why people insist on butchering when they “prune”?
.As always sweet Shannon, you have the softest heart of us all ! 🙂 I agree as earlier mentioned, my Hydrangeas in my front yard are often a great way to let off a little steam ( in a productive way 😉 Without the fear, of any charges being filed… ,lol 🙂
Thou shalt not hack at magnolias either. Why? Although branches will grow back faithfully, they will lose their lovely conical symmetry that magnolias have. Some are irregular shaped, and some have perfect cone shapes, but when you start messing severely with branches, and I see it, I am forced to ask, “What stupid person destroyed the lovely look of that magnolia?” Short branches in the wrong place just don’t look right, and you will never get it right again. People do a lot of stupid things. You’ll never catch me hacking one of my crepe myrtles to death either because I am too lazy to get out and touch it again after one is planted. A little laziness could do a lot of people some good.
Hack a magnolia?!?!?! How horrifyingly sad! Thankfully I haven’t seen that around here. Glad you are as lazy as I am! 😉
Since I wrote that, I have given it some thought. You could create a topiary magnolia if you have the ladder and aren’t too ridiculously lazy like me. It would probably look ridiculously
silly.